JOKES

[Gridiron Brewer]

So my 4 year old daughter asked me yesterday, "Daddy, where do babies come from?" So, of course, I had to be completely honest with her and tell her, "Well, sweetie, daddies put a liquid called sperm into mommies to meld together with her eggs." To which she replied, "Does she drink the sperm?" And without cracking a smile I said, "Only if she wants a new pair of shoes."

Then, she told me this joke:
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?

A: Because they ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

[Thirsty Mallard]

Ah, pirate jokes.

What's a pirate's favorite socks?

Arrrg-ile!


Where do pirates vacation?

Arrrg-lingon

[ZZ]

Inspired by Gov. Sanford:

'Hiking the Appalachian Trail' - Leaving the country to have sex with your lover from South America.

'Hiking the Appalachian Trail with Ned Beatty' - Leaving the country to have sex with your male lover from South America.

[Henway]

Heard on The Daily Show: Another Conservative politician with a Liberal penis.

[TheDarkSide]

Ah, pirate jokes.

Heard this one in college:

What's the difference between a pig and a fox?

About 4 beers.

I know it not a pirate joke but we were at a halloween party and my friend was dressed like a pirate and told it in the "aarrrr" voice". Funniest shit ever.

Oh, did I mention that the people having the party did not say it was a costume party, and we were the only ones dressed up - a pirate, a viking ( he's about 6'5' ), the Mad Hatter, and the dread pirate Roberts from the Princess Bride ( me ). Ah...good times.

[speed]

2 comdoms were walking past a gay bar and one turned to the other and asked, do you want to go in and get shit faced?

[Bugeater]

Chicken Wire

An old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.

He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire."

Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"

Boy says "Gonna catch some chickens."

Old man yells "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"

Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.

Old man yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape."

Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"

Boy says back "Gonna catch me some ducks."

Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!"

Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.

Old man says "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy says "It's a pussy willow."

Old man says "Wait up ... I'll get my hat."

[Dirk McLargeHuge]

Two good ol' boys in a Kentucky trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off of work at the General Motors plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "Iff'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even."