Re: JOKES

Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:44 am

I like this thread... it needs revived...

A man and his wife were sitting at a table at their high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. The husband asked, "Do you know him?"
"Yes," she sighed, "he's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" said the husband, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

--------

After retiring, Sully went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opened his shirt revealing his curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me." and she processed his Social Security application.

When Sully got home, he excitedly told Steff about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants... you might have gotten disability, too."
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Texas is better than your state. Fact.
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Re: JOKES

Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:24 am

i got a hole in my sock. darn it!

i love that one

a-what is E.T. short for?
b-his leg are only about 5 inches tall

a seal walks into a bar. the bar tender asks "what'll you have?" the seal says " anything but a canadian club on the rocks.

sorry if these arn't up to par.. i've had a few.. and i think i might have another..

tom
drink fight fuck....
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one_dead_soul
 
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Re: JOKES

Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:17 am

Disability!!! :lol:

That's a good one!

(Sorry Sully)
Capt. Pushy, BN Army Corps of Engineers
(not to be confused with Push E.)

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Brew Engineer
 
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Re: JOKES

Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:00 pm

An ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION

This could only happen with a little Italian kid..

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'

Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

4 months vacation and five good leads.
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Re: JOKES

Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:37 am

Here's two. The first one I got from Fallout 3 and is a real groaner.

A neutron walks into a bar and says "How much for a drink?" The bartender answers "For you, no charge"


Why did the Dark Knight make so much money? Because they didn't have to pay Heath Ledger.
Too much of a good thing....is a very good thing!

JP: Shat's version of planned parenthood is ordering 2 beers in advance.

PFC BN Army.
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Chris_J
 
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Re: JOKES

Thu Nov 20, 2008 9:22 am

A-whats the difference between a blond and a washing machine?
B-you can drop a load in a washing machine and it wont fallow you around for a week

A-whats do louisiana and my job have incomin? ( i work at walmart :( )
B-our dikes don't work eather!
drink fight fuck....
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Re: JOKES

Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:21 pm

Hickory Dickory Dock.
My balls fell out of my jock.
I laid them to rest
On some hooker's chest
And paddled her face with my cock.
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NathanAbernathy
 
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Re: JOKES

Fri Nov 21, 2008 11:57 am

An Israeli doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking for work.'
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