I was sitting around the house the other night when all of a sudden, I hear the unmistakable hum of the alien space craft of my friends. I went out to the mancave and sure enough, there they were with our mutual friend, Bigfoot. The aliens were on their way down to visit friends of theirs who were fresh into town and submerged in the waters off San Diego. BF and I kind of wanted to go along to visit their buds, but they said no. Apparently, their buds are pretty hardcore prejudiced against anybody other than their kind. Fucking lizard hate mongers, I guess. Anyway, Bigfoot just wanted to get out of the PNW for a day or two, so he popped on down for a little stay, since the aliens were coming this way. He was at my house Tuesday, then, in the middle of the night, hauled butt up to the mountains to see what mischief he could get into. The aliens are supposed to pick him up sometime tonight on the way back north.
So... BF and I just hung out in the mancave, watched a little TV and drank a few beers. He makes this kickass mead stuff that he ferments in a hollowed out tree stump. The aliens really dig the stuff and are known to get pretty ripped up on it. I really can't bring myself to drink too much of it. It tastes good, but he gets his hair in it and it's a freakin' tree stump he ferments it in... I stick to my beer, for the most part, but will sample a little to keep the big guy happy. We have to stay out in the mancave because BF has this killer dingleberry problem and pretty bad BO, so Mrs BeerBiker won't let him in the house. Besides, we really don't have any furniture that will support him, so we stay in the mancave and he sits on one of my brewing kegs turned upside down. We got to watching Monsterquest on the History channel and it just so happened they were doing a show on the hunt for, guess who, Bigfoot. After he calmed down about the Sasquatch references (he doesn't like to be called that), he thought the whole thing was pretty funny. He roared with laughter watching the part where they had some guy trying to prove the Patterson film was of some guy in a monkey suit. He got all nostalgic, sitting there watching himself waltz across that field and into the woods. He was a much younger beast in those days. He was really tickled by the attention he has garnered over the years from people out looking for him. He gets a real kick out of messing with them; it's his greatest hobby.
All in all, it was a great evening. We had some beers, some laughs and we made fun of the aliens and their bigot lizard friends. Seriously, they are kind of assholes and if it weren't for their neat toys, I wouldn't care to spend time around them. But, they do have some cool shit. Their whole time bending/jumping trick is cool, though it kind of takes the fun out of cow tipping. That anal probe thingy is pretty cool, too. I spent many hours trying to reproduce it, but finally had to give up the quest after too many trips to the emergency room with those unexplainable electircal burns of the anus. They were really getting suspicious. It's also really fun to go on ride-alongs with them sometimes. It's cool to be home one minute and in China the next, doing wierd things to some poor bastard. We're just about due to be heading up to visit Santa, after he winds down from his busy season. We'll have to hose BF down really good before then and rake all the dingleberries out of his fur, because Mrs Claus won't let him within 100 yards of the compound, otherwise. I know what she means, it takes me a good couple days to get the stench out of the mancave after a visit. Sure does a number on the bottom of my brew kettle, too, but it washes off OK. He helped me wash it off before leaving my house about 1:00 am and heading off to make the treeline before day break. It sure was good to see him.
Mark
