Killed my better bottle...it was so young

[BrianL]

Dude, that kitten thing is disturbing.

Reverse osmosis

[TheDarkSide]

Save it by your computer for those Sunday Sessions where Justin keeps going on and on and on regardless of the pleas from the chat room.

[BrewTa2]

Grist Licker: That's the funniest site I've seen in a long time! It makes Bubbles cry though.

1. Air. This ought to go without saying, but you'd be surprised how many amateurs forget this detail and wind up with a cold, hard kitty in the morning! If the containment vessel is sealed, you must drill airholes prior to kitten insertion. A diamond drill is recommended for glass vessels.
2. Food & Water. Especially if the kitten's head is being shaped (one of the most versatile aspects of the Bonsai Kitten), it will not be able to eat or drink normally. The most common solution is another hole in the container with a feeding tube to the kitten's mouth, where a liquid food slurry can provide both nutrient and hydration requirements.
3. Waste Removal. Left to its own devices, the kitten would quickly fill its vessel with its own urine and feces, leading to certain sickness and death, not to mention the inevitably unpleasant appearance and odor. The best solution is to seal the kitten's anus with Super Glue prior to insertion, and then insert a waste tube through a third whole in the vessel. As the kitten's body is still developing, a natural rectal diverticulum will soon form around the tube, which can be drained in any convenient fashion. It's just like a kitty colostomy bag!

[Grist Licker]

Yeah, some of the hate mail they get is pretty funny too!

From: <MoldysMula@aol.com> Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000

How DARE you do such a thing to an animal! You are going to PAY for what you have done to these animals!! You will be hearing from us and the Animal Legal Defense Fund Lawyers!

Dear Molly,

We at Bonsai Kitten firmly support your goal of preventing cruelty to animals. It is very important that all procedures be done using only USDA approved Bonsai Kitticulture techniques. Our charter firmly states that no kitten shall be subjected to inhumane treatments! You can rest assured, our kittens feel no pain using the proper procedures. If you have not been licensed to verify that you know the proper techniques then you should not try this at home! Remember, you cannot trim a kitten! We would like to invite you to our facility to play with our latest collection of tetrahedral kitties, and our dodecahedral cat that is the mother of them all. Edwin A. Abbott would be so very proud!

Turns out the website was a hoax invented by some MIT students. Apparently they don't even sell the stuff to Bonsai your kitty. Dammit.