I've been reading everything I could find on English sparge (as per John Palmer's book) and batch sparge, and for the life of me I can't figure out the differences. Can anybody please explain them to me?

Thanks in advance.

as in parti-yle?

For what I understood from John Palmer's online book, English sparge is basically a second mash (in the sense that you completely drain your first runnings, and then pour the sparge water on the grain bed, and let it rest for a while). As far as I can figure, that's exactly what a batch sparge is. But is it?

Party-gyle seems to be (again, remember I'm just learning, so I may be completely wrong) when you use your first runnings for one beer, and the sparge water for a different batch...

I don't think there is a difference. English sparging completely drains the wort and fills it back up again with however much water you need to hit your targets, let that rest for a bit (5-10 minutes is all you really need), and then drain again. They (the English) just call it batch sparging. I'm pretty sure the two are the same thing.

Hmmm, thank you Highoctane, that's what I thought.

I was starting to feel like the dumbest brewer wannabe ever...

No problem. We, and by we I mean Americans, have an annoying habit of calling things French this and English that instead of using proper terms. I can only assume it is to sound more sophisticated. It gets downright confusing and somewhat embarrassing though. For example, I tried buying a french press in France last year... I felt like a complete wazzock.

Tell me about it! When I just came to the US, I'd go to the fast food joint, and ask for the burger with the "big fried potatoes"...
People looked at me like I'd just parked my flying saucer in the wrong spot...!

Damn French Fries!