JOKES

[disco]

All,

A heads up for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out
shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite
traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or
your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-21-year-old girls come over to your car
as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start
wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts
almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead
ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in
the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them
climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you,
while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th,
17th, 20th, & 24th 29th. Also October 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th,
16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely
again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

uh oh... This same thing happened to Bugeater a while back.

[Bugeater]

I've been wondering what happened to those girls. I have a whole stack of wallets stockpiled here I haven't been able to get rid of.

Wayne
Bugeater Brewing Company

[hotrod38]

Two men are playing tennis, one man falls and hits his elbow and decides to go to the doctors, the other man says "Don't waste any money on the doctors, just go inside the store at the corner down the street, put $10 in the machine in the corner, piss in the cup, let it do its thing and a slip of paper will come out that tells you what you have". So he goes to the store puts ten dollars in the machine, pisses in the cup and out comes a piece of paper it says "You have tennis elbow take this ointment cream and apply it on your elbow 3-4 times a daily". So goes home wondering how it know what was wrong, and wanted to see if this machine is a real miracle worker, so he goes home and gets his sisters piss, brothers piss, dogs piss, and jacks-off in the cup goes back to the store, puts ten dollars in the machine and places the cup in the machine. The paper comes out and says "Your sister has gonorrhea, your brother is gay, your dog has worms, and if you keep jacking-off like that you'll never lose that tennis elbow.

[Crut]

From the mouth of my father...prepare yourself
Why do gay guys wear ribbed condoms?
...
...
...
So they can get traction in the mud.

I was scarred for days after he told me that one!

[rhino777]

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

[macgruffus]

Be warned ...

A pedaphile and a little boy where walking in the woods as a dark cloud came over and it looked like it was going to storm. The little boy became afraid and said so to the pedaphile. The pedaphile replied ... "You're scared? I've got to walk out of these woods alone!"

[Bugeater]

Wayne
Bugeater Brewing Company

[Steelers&Beer]

A guy walks up to the counter at the airport and the guy behind the counters asks if he can help.
"Yes, I would like two pickets to tittsburgh.....er, excuse me, i mean, two tickets to Pittsburgh."
The guy behind the counter starts to laugh and says, "Don't worry, that kind of stuff happens to me all the time. Just last night I was at the dinner table with the wife. What I ment to say was. 'Could you please pass the green beans. What slipped out was, 'You fuckin cunt, you ruined my life.'"