JOKES

[Mylo]

Good joke Sheen, but why would Jamil go to Alaska?

For the Halibut.


Mylo

[Dirk McLargeHuge]

[Brew Engineer]

Good joke Sheen, but why would Jamil go to Alaska?

For the Halibut.


Mylo

jackass

[Bugeater]

Did you ever wonder where the custom of putting an angel on top of a Christmas tree came from?

It all started one Christmas Eve when Santa was a bit late getting ready for his yearly visits. In his rush to get dressed he split the seat right out of his pants. He called Mrs. Claus out of the kitchen to fix his pants. While she was out of the kitchen all the Christmas cookies burned.

Meanwhile the elves were busy loading the sleigh. While carrying the bag of toys to the sleigh they tripped and dropped the whole load into the mud. They hurriedly took them back in a rewrapped them all. In the meantime, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer calls in sick. The elves finally got the presents wrapped and carefully hauled them back to the sleigh. They tossed the bag into the back, but the weight of all those toys broke one of the runners on the sleigh.

While Santa stood there pondering what to do, the Christmas Angel approaches Santa with a Christmas tree and innocently asks, "Santa, where should I stick this?"

Wayne

[rhino777]

Luverly!

[budrockdiesel]

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a
brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and
says,
"I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have

one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."

[budrockdiesel]

A Blonde Explains Football

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After
the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. 'Oh,
I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and
all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they
were killing each other over like 25 cents.' Dumbfounded,
her date asked, 'What do you mean?' 'Well, they flipped a
coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all
they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback!' I'm Like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!'

[BadRock]

Mike was going to be married to Stephanie so his Father sat him down for a
little chat.

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our
honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said,
'Here - try these on'.'

She did and said, 'These are too big. I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
'Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.

'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Stephanie, 'Here, try
these on.'

She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'

Mike said , 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
I don't want you to ever forget that.'

Then Stephanie took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said,
'Here you try on mine.'

He did and said, 'I can't get into your panties.'

Stephanie said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude,
you never will.'