... And in today's police reports

[Ozwald]

A woman said someone was possibly shooting a hole in her couch with a handgun.

Possibly? That seems like something you would be pretty sure of.

A property manager reported that a woman who had been banned from a 17th Avenue property had returned that afternoon and peed on the lawn.

"Dogs & homeless people will know that this now belongs to me."

A man who had just bought a place found an extension cord going from his back door to a neighbor's house a few doors down. He was "pretty sure" they were stealing electricity.

Possibly. Or they might be stealing water. We're not sure yet. Check the couch.

[Ozwald]

A deputy was patrolling near a Big Sky bar when a fight occurred. The deputy escorted the primary aggressor outside and he took off running. He was caught, arrested and taken to jail for disorderly conduct.

Not exactly, but that's the Chronicle's accuracy for you. Guy was kicked out twice, came in, argued with the bouncer, deputy walked in behind him & dude tried to punch both the deputy & the bouncer. Deputy took him outside (no running), guy started mouthing off, tried to take another swing & got a face full of nasty parking lot ice. It was actually pretty funny to watch. The bar is in the same building as my work.

[Ozwald]

A caller said a tour bus in front of a Grand Avenue building had been idling for more than 48 hours and the exhaust was melting the road.

LSD is a hell of a drug.

Bison were on Gallatin Road at 8:54 a.m.

Thank you tourist. Now try to pet one.

[Ozwald]

After an officer warned a child about letting his dog run loose in a park, the child let it go again as soon as the officer left. The officer returned, walked the child home and spoke with the child’s mother.

[Ozwald]

A caller reported hearing kids yelling, "Stop daddy," for the previous 45 minutes. The caller wasn't sure if they were messing around or if something was actually going on. An officer found that a person inside the apartment was playing games. The person was warned to keep the noise level down.

"Games"

A black Lab was chasing chickens on a Rusty Duck Lane property at 5:44 p.m.

Just because "Rusty Duck"

A caller complained at 5:34 a.m. about neighbors who were making "noises and sounds."

They were also allegedly doing "things."

[Ozwald]

Officers moved a group of people who were standing in the road to the sidewalk.

Just because this is Montana, I'd like to imagine this was done on horseback with excessive whoopin & hollerin.

A caller reported being stuck in a bathroom.
An officer observed a man cross the road two times and then lay down in the roadway. The man stated he was drunk but otherwise fine. He was warned and advised to walk straight home.

Walk... straight?

[Ozwald]

A caller reported hearing a gunshot in the area of North 27th Avenue at 10:23 p.m. It was "definitely not fireworks," the caller said. Officers responded but were unable to locate any gunshots.

The gunshot fled the scene!

People were seen smoking a pipe on the porch of a trailer.

They also informed the caller to "get off my lawn" whilst shaking a cane, aggressively.

[Ozwald]

An elderly woman wanted to let officers know about a man who whistled at her while he was walking.

Pretty sure she was bragging, not complaining.

A caller had questions about doing a beer hunt outside of Bozeman where they would hide Easter eggs for kids and beers for adults. The caller was cautioned about hiding beers on public lands that kids may have access to.

Just because a beer hunt is a fantastic idea. Never thought of that before.