What's the best part of fucking twenty nine year olds?
There's twenty of them.

What do K-mart & Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boys underwear 1/2 off.

How can you tell when Michael Jackson is having a birthday party?
By all the Big Wheels parked out front.

Two peanuts were walking down the road.
One of them was a-salted.

A drunk walks into a bar with a handful of steaming dog shit.
He tells the bartender "Look what I almost stepped in."

A guy walks into a bar & says "Drinks for everyone, I'm paying."
Bartender says "This is a special occasion, what happened?"
Guy says "I just had my first blowjob."
Bartender says "How was it?"
Guy says "Well it tasted kinda funny."

A few years back, Michael Jackson (the pervert, not the drunk) had a medical checkup. The doctors came to the conclusion that he was no longer bio-degradable but he is recyclable.

Wayne
Bugeater Brewing Company

Why did Mickey Mouse want a divorce from Minnie?
He said she was fucking Goofy.


Justin was on a golf course, having a bad game. On the 8th tee, there was this frog. The frog said, "Ribbit, use the 9 iron". Justin thought it was wierd, but took the frogs advice and made a birdie! He took the frog around with him from hole to hole and ended up posting on the best scores of his life on the frog's shot advice. He took the frog to his hotel room and said, "Frog, what can I do to repay you for your help today?" The frog said, "Ribbit, kiss me." So Justin obliged and kissed the frog. Just then the frog turned into a drop dead gorgeous naked blonde 17 year old girl... and I swear, your honor, that's how that girl got into my hotel room.

a guy is teeing off on #10 when this hot woman asks if she can play the rest of her round with him. Sure he replies. 9 holes later the woman beats him by 4 strokes. She notices how depressed he looks and offers to cheer him up with a blow job. After she finishes, they decide to play a whole round the next day. Once again she beats him and gives him a hummer after the round. This goes on for a few more days when the woman says to the guy, "I have to confess something to you....I've been on hormone therapy for about a year and next week i go for my surgury, then we can make love like a real couple."
The guy is just pissed beyond belief and is just walking around muttering to himself when she tries to calm him down.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but I didn't think you'd like me."
The guy says, "I don't like cheaters."
"You're the only guy i've been seeing", shim says.
"I don't care about that, you've been playing from the ladies tees all week."

A married couple is stranded on an island with another guy. They decide that they will take turns going into the highest cliff and keeping watch for passing ships. The third guy offers to take the first shift. An hour into his shift, he yells down, "Hey, no fucking!" The couple yells back, "But we're not fucking?" An hour later, the man yells down, "Hey, no fucking!" and again the confused couple yell back, "We're NOT fucking!" This goes on every hour on the hour of the mans 8 hour shift. After his shift, the husband offers to take the next shift. As he climbs the cliff, the other guy starts fucking the wife. The husband looks down from the cliff and says, "Wow, from up here it really does look like they are fucking."

A Texan is on a subway in New York. He turns to the lady to his right and politely says, "So, where you headin' to?" The lady says, "Sir, here in New York we are properly taught not to end a sentence in a preposition." The Texan replies, "So, where you headin' to, bitch?"

An Irish toast!

Shuan O raises his glass in the pub and says, "Here's to spending the rest of me life in between the legs of me wife!" That toast ended up wining the toasting contest that night. Shaun O' came home to his wife drunk and thrilled, "Hey honey, I won the toasting contest!"... She said, "Really, we'll what was the toast?" He replied, " Here's to the rest of me life, sitting in church besides me wife!" she replied, "well now, wasn't that sweet of ya deer."

The next day one of his bar friends came up to her and said, "Hey there Susy, your husband won the toast last night and it was about you.." She replied, " I know, he told me all about it.....Funny thing is, me husband hasn't been there in four years! The first time he fell asleep, and the second time I had to pull his ears to cum!!!.......

Cheers mates! (thanks craftbrewer for the joke!)
Justin U

A guy comes home from his job at the pickle factory & tells his wife he got fired. She asks him why he got fired. He says "I got fired for putting my hand in the pickle slicer." She asks "What happened to the pickle slicer?" He says "They fired her too."